TBT Issue 04: January 2026
Hello! We are 1/12 of the way through 2026, and everything is terrible!
That might be a little histrionic, but maybe not. January was a month, and things feel very bad for a lot of reasons. The government is murdering folks in broad daylight, to be replayed on our phones from every angle over and over again until the horror is worn away into numbness. At the same time, the community continues to show up. My entire neighborhood took part in the National General Strike on January 30, Bad Bunny reminded us that love is stronger than hate (I know this was in February, but this is my newsletter, so I get to write what I want), my friend let me take her maternity photos and welcomed a beautiful baby to the world, and I attended my first gallery show.
It’s a weird time. My friend Gabby likes to say that more than one thing can be true at once. The world is terrible and wonderful.
Kelly + Mike, Maternity
I met Kelly on a Watsky video, over a decade ago, when we were both still little film babies. She has gone on to be a big-time network TV Second AC and does not come out for the scrappy indie films and music videos I work on now, but we still celebrate our friend-iversary every year at Aroma Cafe in Tujunga Village.
She wasn’t sure if she wanted any formal maternity photos. She’s a fellow behind-the-camera girly, and being 36 weeks pregnant was not doing anything to change that. But she didn’t want to look back on this time and regret not having the photos. If she hated them, it only cost an hour or so of her time, and it is easy enough to tuck them away in a box at the back of the closet, versus wanting them and having to get pregnant all over again.
We met at Arlington Garden in Pasadena with no real plan. That’s how I like to do most of my portrait sessions. Kelly was worried she would be awkward in front of the camera (she wasn't), so I tried to help her and her husband, Mike, forget about it as much as possible. We strolled around and chatted about what they’re most excited about becoming parents, and occasionally I made them stand in places, hold hands, dance, walk toward me, walk away from me, and kiss. It was torture, but in the end, I burned through about 5 rolls of film, and my biggest struggle was deciding which to include here. These are just a few of their favorites.
Four weeks later, to the day, and right on time, Lillian Grace was born. Congratulations, Kelly and Mike, and thank you so much for trusting me with your maternity photos.
January 30, 2026
For most of January, I was circling the pit of despair—Kelly and Mike’s maternity shoot was a brief bright spot—because that was just the vibe of the world, and I didn’t think I would take part in the General Strike on Friday, January 30. Leaving the house felt like a big ask at the time, but as it got closer and I saw all my favorite spots showing support by closing down for the day, I knew that I had to go.
I decided to ride my bike because it was a beautiful day, and the thought of parking downtown was enough to kill all my motivation. I got there at the tail end of the main event, so the crowds were beginning to disperse. Some folks moved toward the Temple and 1st Street overpasses to solicit honks from commuters on the 101; others drifted toward the detention center, and others settled down in Grand Park to have a picnic with snacks purchased from the dozens of street vendors taking advantage of the crowd. The vibes were high, as they always are at protests downtown. There is something so heartwarming about seeing so many folks come together.
As I was wandering, somewhat aimlessly, the news came through that Don Lemon was about to be released from the Federal Building just a few blocks away. He had been arrested the night before, while in Los Angeles to cover the Grammys, in retaliation for his reporting in Minnesota. I followed the crowd until I saw the news vans, and slipped in next to the reporters (an orange safety vest will get you in anywhere).
A friend of mine, who always has my location, thought it was so cool that I was there. That I was at the center of a historical moment. And it is cool, in a way, but it is also awful. I feel a lot of ways about it. I’m happy to be there. I know it is a privilege, of sorts, to witness these things, but I am also tired. I don’t want to bear witness anymore, or, if I do, I would like it to be about happy things rather than the fall of democracy.
Don came out, looking very good in his light monochrome suit, and I learned that I don’t think I have it in me to be a paparazzo. The minute he appeared, it was chaos; folks were on top of each other trying to get their shots. It was overwhelming, and I couldn’t help but think that if it’s this intense when he is surrounded by people who are most likely on his side, how much worse would it be if the crowd were different?
I don’t think I have a concise conclusion. I am always so moved to see everyone out there. I am so proud of my city, but I also wish we didn’t need to do this. I wish things were boring. But that is not the way things are, so we have to take care of each other so that we can keep going.
Baby’s First Gallery Show
At the beginning of January, someone reached out to me through my website with a job offer. It was very exciting. It felt like a real, “big girl” kind of job, and it came at a time when work was very slow. There weren’t any glaring red flags in that first email, but something in the back of my mind knew things weren’t quite right. I wrote that feeling off as paranoia and reached out for more information. I also reached out to a few friends to check their availability. If I were to book the shoot, I would have a budget to bring a few folks on, and I was really excited to give other people some work during this slow season.
The “creative director” got cagey when I asked to get on a call. When I was listed on various wedding websites that won’t be named, the first thing that marked an inquiry as a scam was that the bride/groom was never available for a phone call, because they weren’t real. So, I did a deeper dive and found the exact same creative brief floating all over the internet. I don’t quite know how the scam works, but I’m guessing it was some version of being asked to front expenses with the promise of reimbursement that never comes, or an overpayment/payback scheme. I tried to do some more on-the-ground research, but I was ghosted when I said a video call was a dealbreaker for me.
All that to say, I was feeling very tender and a little embarrassed when I was reminded that my work had been accepted into MONAD Agency’s Los Angeles show “We Belong Here.” I thought that it must be another scam, who would actually accept my work for a show? Or there was no show at all, and I had been duped again. I wasn’t going to go, and I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want anyone to see me get tricked again. I was feeling feelings. But Saturday came around, and I’d finished my entire to-do list for the first time this year, and was running out of good reasons not to go. So I slapped on a red lip and got in the car. I told myself I could drive by, and if it was real, I’d go in, and if it were fake, I would just come home.
This is where I want to apologize to MONAD for all of these thoughts. I was very wrong, my feelings were lying. The show was very real, very wonderful, and I am very honored to have been included. The work on display was all so beautiful, and the other artists are unbelievably talented. It was a much-needed moment of validation that can be so few and far between as an artist. If you have the opportunity, please go to one of their shows; it will be a good time. I will be sure to tell folks about my shows in the future, because the only thing that would have made the night better was to have a friend in the room, and I hope this was just the first of many.
Odds and Ends
A few other things I got up to in January:
I made my first round of cyanotype prints for my still untitled mutual aid art project. I’ll write in more detail about that on my Patreon — I’m still trying to figure out the best way to share all my various projects. Should it all just be here? Is Patreon better? or Substack? or TikTok? or Instagram? or all of them? I don’t know! What do you want to see? Do you just want everything in one place, or would you rather pick and choose? This is all just a big experiment, so I’m just trying things and learning what works and what doesn’t. For now, the cyanotype project is primarily on Patreon, but that might change next month. Thanks for being flexible with me
I migrated Hindsight to Blurb, so that it is now available as a print-on-demand softcover edition. For the first-edition printings, I had to order the inventory upfront, which was great for that limited run but not sustainable. Turns out there is very little money in artbooks. Who knew? But I still want Hindsight to be available, so she’s on Blurb now! I thought that print-on-demand and softcover would bring the price down, but I was wrong. That’s not how capitalism works! So, unfortunately, she’s still pricey. I’m sorry! If you still want a hardcover, I have a few floating around, and you can order them here.
The End
This was so long, I did not expect that to happen. If you’ve made it all the way here, thank you. If you didn’t, that’s okay. I get it. Thank you anyway.
Love you! See you next time.
xo
E